3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
