Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
FUCK WHALES
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
