get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
