Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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