I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
