I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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