My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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