I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
you made out with another girl for some wings
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
