I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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