What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
