In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
