i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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