barbara walters just said penis...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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