At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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