just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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