omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
This toilet bowl is my home.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
