she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
