my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Randomize
