I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
