It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
