dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
