i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
