We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Bring me that man meat
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?