I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned