I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?