Writing my paper on freud at bar
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says