Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Oh god it's open bar.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
