the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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