Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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