We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
