what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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