You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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