Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
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YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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