never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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