New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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