look no pants
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
