The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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