i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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