Sponge bath it is.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
