Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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