I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Be still, my beating vagina.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
