there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
