Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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