So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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