No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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