The maid of honor just puked.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
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Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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