KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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