my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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