Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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