Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
