You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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