one two three fourrrrnication!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
