everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
