dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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