i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
