I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish you could order shots online.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
