Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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