Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
