don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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