i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
