Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
