You smell like a Billy Joel song
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
